We don't need no goddamn taxi fare
Possibly the best aspect of this bumbaclot Tumblr feed we got goin' on next door is its relative anonymity. The YM Brethren all use the same log-in. (You can differentiate my posts from the others' because they contain the funniest jokes and the fewest typos and broken links. Not important.) So, which one of you is pretending to be all riled up about alleged wage disparity?
Because I'm going to go out on a limb here--this is what dudes always say--and posit that it's really because you need to get laid. Which one of you is it? The Wandering Jew? The camelhair Whit Stillman fan? Pop Quiz: Have you tried restocking your dating pool? Maybe look outside of the second-tier socialite/Five Towns/UES charity contingent.
Nah, probably not. Was it Mr. I-CAN-HAZ-Henry-Darger? Or the one who spent college searching for a Notary Public so that he could get a beejer?
(I know it wasn't sac, because I can't think of a pithy insult for him.)
The Clovers, Rotten Cocksuckers Ball
[I need to pretend that Jezebel doesn't exist. I just need to do that. I wish the boys would stop reminding me. Because listen, woman: If you honestly believe that you shouldn't be required to pay for your half of the meal because makeup is expensive or because it's some sort of Gender Inequality Tithing or because math is hard or you're still waiting for your 40 acres and a mule, then you might as well just spread your legs across Hollywood Boulevard, because that's all a woman is really about anyway, right? Sucking and shopping, sucking and shopping, sucking and shopping.]
Because I'm going to go out on a limb here--this is what dudes always say--and posit that it's really because you need to get laid. Which one of you is it? The Wandering Jew? The camelhair Whit Stillman fan? Pop Quiz: Have you tried restocking your dating pool? Maybe look outside of the second-tier socialite/Five Towns/UES charity contingent.
Nah, probably not. Was it Mr. I-CAN-HAZ-Henry-Darger? Or the one who spent college searching for a Notary Public so that he could get a beejer?
(I know it wasn't sac, because I can't think of a pithy insult for him.)
The Clovers, Rotten Cocksuckers Ball
[I need to pretend that Jezebel doesn't exist. I just need to do that. I wish the boys would stop reminding me. Because listen, woman: If you honestly believe that you shouldn't be required to pay for your half of the meal because makeup is expensive or because it's some sort of Gender Inequality Tithing or because math is hard or you're still waiting for your 40 acres and a mule, then you might as well just spread your legs across Hollywood Boulevard, because that's all a woman is really about anyway, right? Sucking and shopping, sucking and shopping, sucking and shopping.]
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