Fat Chicks Joke, No?

Dana, 99 and I have been vetting an idea for a post. It hasn't been easy. First, I'm stuck with a "strike beard" (I made the commitment months ago, covers up my chin-to-neck problem) even though I have no affiliation with shitbag media conglomerates or the people who wish to work for them. 99 fantasizes about getting boned by Jacob Lodwick's fake leg and Dana still worries about lipodystrophy from using antiretroviral drugs. Buffalo humps flatter no one. Emails, accusations, one-upmanships and going-down-ons were flying with faulty navigation all morning. So here's what we came up with:

Word around town is that David Cro$$ (Google alert that, bitch) has put on some serious holiday weight. Anyone care to confirm if he's got chipmunk cheeks and a Grand Old Party belly? Leave a comment or email us.