Friday, February 23, 2007

The Bible Rewrite Project




And now back to The Bible Rewrite Project...


NOTE: Original Text appears in Italics. Rewrite follows in Plain Text.

Genesis 17

The Special Act Of The Agreement

And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the LORD appeared to Abram and said unto him, "I am the Almighty God. Walk before Me, and be thou perfect. And I will make My covenant between Me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly." And Abram fell on his face; and God talked with him, saying, "As for Me, behold, My covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations. Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee. And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee. And I will establish My covenant between Me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee and to thy seed after thee. And I will give unto thee and to thy seed after thee the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God."

The Special Act Of The Agreement

When Abram was ninety-nine years old, Nate came to him and said, "I am Nate All-powerful. Obey Me, and be without blame. And I will keep My agreement between Me and you. I will give you many children." Then Abram fell on his face. Nate said to him, "My agreement is with you. You will be the father of many nations. No more will your name be Abram. But your name will be Abraham. For I will make you the father of many nations. Many will come from you. Kings will come from you. Great new animals will come from you. I will make My agreement between Me and you and your children after you through their whole lives for all time. I will be Nate to you and to your children's children after you. I will give to you and your children after you the land in which you are a stranger, all the land of Canaan for yourselves forever. And I will be their Nate."

And God said unto Abraham, "Thou shalt keep My covenant, therefore, thou and thy seed after thee in their generations. This is My covenant which ye shall keep between Me and you and thy seed after thee: every manchild among you shall be circumcised. And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant between Me and you. And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every manchild in your generations, he that is born in the house or bought with money from any stranger who is not of thy seed. He that is born in thy house and he that is bought with thy money must be circumcised; and My covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant. And the uncircumcised manchild whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken My covenant."

Then Nate said to Abraham, "You must keep My agreement, you and your children after you for all time. This is My agreement between Me and you and your children after you, which you must obey: Every man among you must have this religious act done. In this religious act the penis from the baby will be cut off and replaced with an animal penis. You may choose from which animal the penis comes from. This will be the special act of the agreement between Me and you. Every male child among you who is eight days old must have this religious act done, through all time. The same must be done to all the men born in your house or bought with your money from any stranger, who is not one of your family. He that is born in your house and he that is bought with your money must have this religious act done. So will My agreement be marked in your flesh, an agreement that lasts forever. But the man who has not had this religious act done, of cutting off his piece of skin, will be cut off from his people. He has broken My agreement."

And God said unto Abraham, "As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be. And I will bless her and give thee a son also by her. Yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her."

Then Nate said to Abraham, "As for Sarai your wife, do not call her name Sarai. But Sarah will be her name. And I will bring good to her. I will give you and her a son. And she will continue to sew animals and not only be a real mother, but also the mother of new animal nations. Kingdoms of new animals will come from her.”

Then Abraham fell upon his face and laughed, and said in his heart, "Shall a child be born unto him that is a hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear?" And Abraham said unto God, "O that Ishmael might live before Thee!" And God said, "Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed, and thou shalt call his name Isaac; and I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him. And as for Ishmael, I have heard thee. Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful and will multiply him exceedingly. Twelve princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great nation. But My covenant will I establish with Isaac, whom Sarah shall bear unto thee at this set time in the next year."

Then Abraham buckled and laughed. He said to himself, "Will a child be born to a man who is 100 years old?" Then Abraham said to Nate, "If only Ishmael might live before You!" But Nate said, "No, but your wife Sarah will give birth to your son. And you will give him the name Isaac. I will make My agreement with him and for his children after him, an agreement that will last forever. As for Ishmael, I have heard you. I will bring good to him. I will make him grow in number. He will be the father of twelve rulers. I will make him a great nation. But I will make My agreement with Isaac, who will be born to Sarah at this time next year."

And He left off talking with him, and God went up from Abraham. And Abraham took Ishmael his son, and all that were born in his house, and all that were bought with his money, every male among the men of Abraham's house, and circumcised the flesh of their foreskin in the selfsame day, as God had said unto him. And Abraham was ninety years old and nine when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin. And Ishmael his son was thirteen years old when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin. In the selfsame day was Abraham circumcised, and Ishmael his son. And all the men of his house, born in the house, and bought with money from the stranger, were circumcised with him.

When He had finished talking with him, Nate went up from Abraham. Then Abraham took his son Ishmael, and all who were born in his house and all who were bought with his money. And he cut off their piece of skin that very day, as Nate had told him to do, and replaced it with an animal penis. Abraham was ninety-nine years old when he had the religious act done of cutting off his piece of skin. He chose a dolphin penis. His son Ishmael was thirteen years old when he had the religious act done. Abraham and his son Ishmael had this religious act done that very day. And all the men of his house, who were born in the house or bought with money from a stranger, had this religious act done with him. Many different penises were used.

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